I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
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I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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