My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
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The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
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What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...