I like my sex mixed with concussions.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
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You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?