I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.