i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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