Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a beautiful day for a hangover

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  (215): It's a beautiful day for a hangover http://tfl.nu/x1e7
  Replies (32) Good night (4460) Bad night (732)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

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  (312): Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer. http://tfl.nu/54ng
  Replies (19) Good night (8090) Bad night (832)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...

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  (413): thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover... http://tfl.nu/lbcp
  Replies (7) Good night (1052) Bad night (3273)
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  (831): View more from California

  maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick

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  (831): maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick http://tfl.nu/1wa4
  Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (1413)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over

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  (443): We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over http://tfl.nu/j0uq
  Replies (5) Good night (1816) Bad night (667)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.

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  (515): It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful. http://tfl.nu/3wbb
  Replies (4) Good night (1860) Bad night (682)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.

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  (417): I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted. http://tfl.nu/wdy8
  Replies (6) Good night (1555) Bad night (533)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer

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  (518): We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer http://tfl.nu/x68v
  Replies (2) Good night (1467) Bad night (439)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock

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  (406): I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock http://tfl.nu/wbdd
  Replies (9) Good night (2000) Bad night (721)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.

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  (253): Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight. http://tfl.nu/dlgc
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (283)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.

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  (623): My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today. http://tfl.nu/qhq3
  Replies (16) Good night (407) Bad night (1140)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.

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  (978): i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken. http://tfl.nu/6c3c
  Replies (1) Good night (776) Bad night (258)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.

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  (330): As yoda would say; A bitch, she is. http://tfl.nu/vx3o
  Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt

  (1-650): View more from California

  Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here

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  (650): Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt (1-650): Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here http://tfl.nu/56ff
  Replies (0) Good night (628) Bad night (262)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.

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  (405): Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky. http://tfl.nu/1s85
  Replies (4) Good night (1034) Bad night (271)

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