I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
What a dumb baby whore.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?