Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he thought i was a dude.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
