it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
