If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
