I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Will exercising make me less horny?
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