i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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