I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
