I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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