i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
