If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
