P.S. I can't hear my feet
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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