Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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