Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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