He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
