My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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