ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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