Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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