Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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