Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize