your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I won't apologize to a one balled man
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
