I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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