2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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