I'm jealous of your bromance
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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