Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
3pm strippers are depressing
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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