i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
