What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
