I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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