dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
