I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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