I'm pants shitting drunk right now
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
