I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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