come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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