Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
