We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
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Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How does it feel to date your dad?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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