omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
