hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Quick, to the slutcave!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
