we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You've changed since you got that strap on
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
