who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
