dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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