Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize