she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize