hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
