She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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