its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
