My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
