I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
