I want to stick my p in your. b.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
