she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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