Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just made out with a guy for $7.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done