how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.