It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
