Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
