I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
