This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
