Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
