did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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