I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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