Are we in a gay sports bar?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
