wat bout pragnant strippers??
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
