Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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