you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
