She's JV to your varsity
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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