So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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