Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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