so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
